Improving Communication Skills
! Effective communication is an important tool for conflict management
! Effective communication is a skill (HSG:402)
- Stages of Skill Development
- Awareness that the skill is needed
- Understanding of what the skills is
- Self-conscious awkward engagement
- Feeling of phoniness when engaging in skill
- Mechanical use of skill
- Automatic routine use
! Examples of barriers to effective communication
(MSG:128-132)(HSG:404,405)(ESG: 124,126,383)
- Misunderstandings
- Unwanted advice
- Body language
- Unequal power
- Prejudice
! Non-verbal cues/ body language plays a significant role in communication
(HSG:406-408)(MSG:145-148)(ESG:136-142,154)
- Gestures
- Facial expressions
- Posture
- Other
! Listening is more than just hearing. Listening is an active process.
(MSG:133-169) (HSG:420-431)(ESG:134-135,146-147,154,384,385)
- Non-verbal active listening (SOLER) (MSG:148)(HSG:419)
- "Squarely"
- "Open stance"
- "Lean forward"
- "Eye contact"
- "Relax"
- Some verbal skills
(152-169)(HSG:420-438)(ESG:125,126,388)
- Questioning (MSG:152)(HSG:429)(ESG:143,387)
- Reflecting (MSG:155)(ESG:144)
- Paraphrasing (MSG:162-164)(HSG:426)(ESG:148-153)
- Encouraging
- Clarifying
- Restating
- Summarizing
! I-Messages
(ESG:127-132,386)
- Goals (HSG:409)(MSG:140)
- Avoid "You" statements that can escalate conflict
- Response that will de-escalate conflict
- Identify feelings
- Identify behaviors contributing to/causing conflict
- Resolve conflict/prevent future problems
- Traditional I-message (MSG:138,139)(ESG:128)
- I FEEL_________________________________
- WHEN_________________________________
- BECAUSE______________________________
- AND I WOULD LIKE_____________________
! Rethinking I-messages
(MSG:140-144)(HSG:409-415)
Compiled by: Kim Strong Lytle, Conflict Resolution Services, Hamilton, Ohio 1999.
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