Improving Communication Skills

 
! Effective communication is an important tool for conflict management

! Effective communication is a skill (HSG:402)

  • Stages of Skill Development
    • Awareness that the skill is needed
    • Understanding of what the skills is
    • Self-conscious awkward engagement
    • Feeling of phoniness when engaging in skill
    • Mechanical use of skill
    • Automatic routine use

! Examples of barriers to effective communication
(MSG:128-132)(HSG:404,405)(ESG: 124,126,383)

  • Misunderstandings
  • Unwanted advice
  • Body language
  • Unequal power
  • Prejudice

! Non-verbal cues/ body language plays a significant role in communication
(HSG:406-408)(MSG:145-148)(ESG:136-142,154)

  • Gestures
  • Facial expressions
  • Posture
  • Other

! Listening is more than just hearing. Listening is an active process.
(MSG:133-169) (HSG:420-431)(ESG:134-135,146-147,154,384,385)

  • Non-verbal active listening (SOLER) (MSG:148)(HSG:419)
    • "Squarely"
    • "Open stance"
    • "Lean forward"
    • "Eye contact"
    • "Relax"
  • Some verbal skills
    (152-169)(HSG:420-438)(ESG:125,126,388)
    • Questioning (MSG:152)(HSG:429)(ESG:143,387)
    • Reflecting (MSG:155)(ESG:144)
    • Paraphrasing (MSG:162-164)(HSG:426)(ESG:148-153)
    • Encouraging
    • Clarifying
    • Restating
    • Summarizing

! I-Messages
(ESG:127-132,386)

  • Goals (HSG:409)(MSG:140)
    • Avoid "You" statements that can escalate conflict
    • Response that will de-escalate conflict
    • Identify feelings
    • Identify behaviors contributing to/causing conflict
    • Resolve conflict/prevent future problems
  • Traditional I-message (MSG:138,139)(ESG:128)
    • I FEEL_________________________________
    • WHEN_________________________________
    • BECAUSE______________________________
    • AND I WOULD LIKE_____________________

! Rethinking I-messages
(MSG:140-144)(HSG:409-415)

Compiled by: Kim Strong Lytle, Conflict Resolution Services, Hamilton, Ohio 1999.

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