ALL ROADS LEAD TO PEACE Dear Parent, As parents and educators with the Cleveland Municipal School District, we realize the importance of living and sharing effective conflict management skills in our homes, as well as in our classrooms. Most families have established rules and guidelines for living within the home. As our children grow and develop independence, many of these established rules may be challenged and result in conflict. How we manage conflict is often a good example of how our children will solve their problems. As parents, handling conflict in our homes consistently and with patience is difficult. Some days, after working outside the home, it is challenging to put things into perspective and respond appropriately to conflicts that arise in our homes. That is why we decided to develop a School to Home Program to empower ourselves as parents. We chose the traffic signal, invented by Cleveland's own Garrett Morgan because of its simplicity and an easy connection to The 3R's of Conflict Management. RED: STOP/ RELAX Take a deep breath and slowly count to 10. Don't say anything yet. Get in touch with your needs and your feelings. Take a step back from the situation so you can look at the whole picture. YELLOW: WAIT/ REFLECT Think about what just happened. Think of a word or two that describes how you feel. What are your needs? Name some options to help you feel more positive about what just happened. GREEN: GO/ RESPOND State the problem by speaking slowly and calmly. Use a quiet, inside voice to tell those involved how you are affected by what just happened. Now, listen to what others that are involved have to say. Share ideas and try cooperatively to find a workable solution. In school, through a literature and proficiency based activity, your child will develop, then practice conflict management skills. They will learn to take a moment to observe the "signal" or situation. Next, follow the Rules of the Road: Stop/Relax, Wait/Reflect and Go/Respond when dealing with conflict. Your child will then be encouraged to bring the activity home and share it with the family. A Know Place Like Home Suggested Activities Page will summarize the lesson and offer suggestions for family involvement through Refrigerator Art, Memory Builder or Family Chat activities. Conflict is a natural and normal part of everyday life. It is going to happen anytime, anywhere and in all families. Conflicts are a part of living and growing. How we handle the conflict depends on our own life experiences and our own feelings about disagreements. As parents, many of us find ourselves dissatisfied and frustrated with the way we handle conflicts in the home. We know that responding to an unpleasant situation in a stressed, out of control manner, not only disrupts the home environment but doesn't provide the opportunity for positive change. As adults, we desire to improve the ability to deal appropriately with conflicts. Attending directly to the core of the problem and not the chaos attached to it, enables a parent to respond effectively and generally alleviates the corresponding chaos. This aids in creating and nourishing a peaceful, caring and loving home environment that all family members can feel safe to share their feelings, communicate their thoughts and be the unique person they were born to be! As parents, we yearn for a better life for our children educationally, financially, socially and emotionally. We work hard to provide for our children financially. We focus attention on our children's education in hopes that they will be more successful. Using the philosophies of conflict management in our family and everyday living ensures the social and emotional development of our children as they come to understand themselves and relate to others now and in the future. The 3R's of Conflict Management School-to-Home Program is one vehicle for traveling through life by providing a road map to aid in making peaceful decisions when life seems under construction. © Copyright 2001 by the Ohio Department of Education and the Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution. Back to Schools Main Page Back to Elementary School Lessons
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