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Communication I-way Map Communicating thoughts and feelings in a positive way during a heated conflict is often difficult. The following map will help to guide you along the communication I-way. Practice will help you master the "I-way." Before getting on the communication I-way, it is important to learn which signs to look for and to understand a few rules of the road in conflict management. Rules of the Road:
• use the word "I" •state how you feel •state the specific behavior that you do not like •state your willingness to cooperatively resolve the problem
© Copyright 1995 by Terrence T. Wheeler and Anita Whitely, O.S.U.
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No "You" statements. Use statements that begin with the word "I". Do not use statements that include the word "you," because these statements make people feel defensive. 
Slow. Remember, it takes time to settle a conflict. Go slow at first, because conflict resolvers usually encounter some rough roads in the beginning. Keep using your I-way map to reach safer roads. 
Detour Ahead. Sometimes tempers are flaring so much that it may be necessary to take a temporary detour from the communication I-way. Once the tempers have calmed down, you may begin using I statements to solve the problem. 
Exit Ahead. Most conflicts can be resolved through effective communication. However, if you begin to feel threatened or unsafe, you should exit the communication I-way and seek safety. 
Construction Zone. Construct an I-way statement by following these directions: 
Merge Ahead. After using properly constructed I-way statements, individuals can begin to share ideas for how to solve the problem. Often, the best solution is reached when two people merge their ideas together. 
End of Construction. After reaching a solution that the two individuals agree will work, they can resume normal activities.